Go Get Your Mammies Grammed
This post is meant for all the lovely ladies out there. Am sharing something that Jas emailed today and it's hilarious! So am sharing it here for everyone else. For those who have gone for a mammogram, you will know that it's not the most pleasant experience and not something that we look forward to but something that we simply just have to do, like it or not. For those of you who are way to young to go for one, well read on and then you can start looking forward to your very first mammogram *evil grin*
Seems like there are alot more women down with breast cancer ... and it could be because we are more knowledgeable about the illness and medical advancement has allowed lumps to be detected early. However, many are still not in the know about this illness or don't know how to do checks (it's not as simple as touch here and press there ya). So do spread the poem around and encourage other women to go for their regular checks.
Usually women above 40 are strongly encouraged to go for a yearly mammogram. But if you have close relatives (e.g. Mum or sister) who have had breast cancer, you should go for a mammogram and ultra sound before 40. I was told by my doctor that it should be about ten years before the onset of the illness for that relative. My Mum got it when she was in her 40s so it's time for me to go for my checks. And my Mum had a relapse this year and that was the 'scare' that I needed to go and see a doctor. So enjoy the poem and thanks Jas for sharing this! :O)
GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And ! I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let'! s have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!
posted by Me, Myself n I at 10:25 am
This post is meant for all the lovely ladies out there. Am sharing something that Jas emailed today and it's hilarious! So am sharing it here for everyone else. For those who have gone for a mammogram, you will know that it's not the most pleasant experience and not something that we look forward to but something that we simply just have to do, like it or not. For those of you who are way to young to go for one, well read on and then you can start looking forward to your very first mammogram *evil grin*
Seems like there are alot more women down with breast cancer ... and it could be because we are more knowledgeable about the illness and medical advancement has allowed lumps to be detected early. However, many are still not in the know about this illness or don't know how to do checks (it's not as simple as touch here and press there ya). So do spread the poem around and encourage other women to go for their regular checks.
Usually women above 40 are strongly encouraged to go for a yearly mammogram. But if you have close relatives (e.g. Mum or sister) who have had breast cancer, you should go for a mammogram and ultra sound before 40. I was told by my doctor that it should be about ten years before the onset of the illness for that relative. My Mum got it when she was in her 40s so it's time for me to go for my checks. And my Mum had a relapse this year and that was the 'scare' that I needed to go and see a doctor. So enjoy the poem and thanks Jas for sharing this! :O)
Seems like there are alot more women down with breast cancer ... and it could be because we are more knowledgeable about the illness and medical advancement has allowed lumps to be detected early. However, many are still not in the know about this illness or don't know how to do checks (it's not as simple as touch here and press there ya). So do spread the poem around and encourage other women to go for their regular checks.
Usually women above 40 are strongly encouraged to go for a yearly mammogram. But if you have close relatives (e.g. Mum or sister) who have had breast cancer, you should go for a mammogram and ultra sound before 40. I was told by my doctor that it should be about ten years before the onset of the illness for that relative. My Mum got it when she was in her 40s so it's time for me to go for my checks. And my Mum had a relapse this year and that was the 'scare' that I needed to go and see a doctor. So enjoy the poem and thanks Jas for sharing this! :O)
GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And ! I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let'! s have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And ! I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"OK," I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let'! s have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.
Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!
posted by Me, Myself n I at 10:25 am
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